March 8, 1916
My Dear Miss Addams:
This letter is written at Marcets request. She tells me you received a promise that she would let you know should our relationship become serious. Well, things have become serious -- terribly so. I don't entertain the slightest doubt that I love Marcet. It's a tense situation; I must say. I feel that Marcet is positive I love her deeply. I must say frankly that never have I felt this way. I have been attracted to a number of women, but Marcet is the first I have ever asked to marry (I hope she will be the last.)
Please don't think that this has been a sudden emotion. It really hasn't. Not until three Sundays ago did I even so much as speak to Marcet of any sort of affection, though I have been [page 2] totally "balled up" for a number of months. For quite a time I tried to convince myself that Marcet and I were good friends. For a while I was certain nothing would ever come of our sessions together, but it gradually dawned on me that I sincerely loved her.
I tried, in a thousand ways, to convince myself that it was all impossible, that Marcet would never love me, that we should go our [separate] ways, but I simply couldn't fool myself. Then it came out -- and Marcet accepted, instead of rejected, my overtures. I could hardly believe myself, at first it had seemed so improbable. I think Marcet and I should marry. I know I'll be happy with her. I'll try to make her happy. She is willing to take a chance. Let her. I think everything will work out beautifully. We disagree about a number of things, but temperamentally [page 3] we are compatible and that makes everything worth while. I believe we both have a sense of fairness and an appreciation of personal liberty. I know I can accept a person's viewpoint even though I must reject a person's conclusions. Marcet and I have many common enthusiasms. Again, it isn't good to be poured from the same pot into the same air. Marcet has her work and I have mine. We go to different worlds, but we return to a new sphere of our own creation that gives each of us a feeling of bliss. I think there are numerous surprises in each of us -- and, of course, that is important. Marcet understands me, but she doesn't know me, which isn't bad. We are mutually helpful. Marcet and I know we can aid each other in many ways. I'm glad I love her.
Let me tell you something [page 4] about myself. When about sixteen, I left my home in Philadelphia because I realized I could not do the things I wanted to do. I had several extremely difficult years, but finally I won for myself some sort of a foothold. Since then I have always hoed my own row. About seven years ago I was given a place on the N.Y. Call. I contributed (in my own crude way) to numerous inferior publications. This gave me an opportunity to express myself. I was happy. In 1911 I went to Milwaukee, where I joined the first staff of the Leader. I remained almost a year. Then I spent about six months on the now defunct Chicago World. Then I went to Los Angeles, where I started (aided by a number of California friends) a monthly magazine which was successful from the very first issue. This magazine (The Western Comrade) is still being published by Job Harriman and [page 5] Frank E. Wolfe, the men who purchased it from me. I'm proud of that experience. It makes me feel confident that my next one will be what I desire a magazine to be. While running this magazine I edited the Social-Democrat, the official organ of the California Socialists. At the same time I was associate editor of The Citizen, an official labor union publication. I also did publicity work for the city during a vigorous campaign for municipal ownership of power distribution plants. I was then given the opportunity to return to New York as editor of the magazine [section] of the Sunday Call, which I accepted. At the same time (for several months) I served the Carranza publicity bureau under the direction of Carlo de Fornaro. After a year or more in N.Y, I was offered the position of editorial writer for the Appeal to Reason. [page 6] I accepted because I wanted the experience of working on a successful weekly of huge circulation. I have been here since last September. I know my work is entirely satisfactory. I get $30 a week, at the end of this month I'll get $35.
I know that all this isn't startling in the least, but the fact remains that I have developed my own efficiency to the point wherein I am (and have been for more than five years) completely independent. This ability of mine is of such a nature that I can, at any time, take my choice of several positions. I prefer, however to remain here with Marcet. I know I can always carry the burden of my own living expenses, and that is important, isn't it?
On a [separate] sheet I am sending you names of persons who know me. Write to them to learn what they think of me. All of [page 7] them are not my friends. Most of them are persons who know me through my work.
Sincerely yours,
Emanuel Julius.
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